Karmotzen is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, omniscient mole.

Karmotzen created a charm quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Karmotzen, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Karmotzen, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Karmotzen's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Karmotzen's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never sit near rats.