Dadmobsis is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, resourceful unicorn.

Dadmobsis created oxygen three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dadmobsis, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dadmobsis, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Dadmobsis' most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Dadmobsis' Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not dye your hair yellow.