Dossgemfoss is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, omniscient monkey.

Dossgemfoss created humankind two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dossgemfoss, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Dossgemfoss, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Dossgemfoss' most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Dossgemfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured cats.

2. Do not take Dossgemfoss' name in vain.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Put Dossgemfoss first in all things.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.