Latjabcuss Venrilfagrutquag is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, emotional pig.

Latjabcuss Venrilfagrutquag created humankind nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Latjabcuss Venrilfagrutquag, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Latjabcuss Venrilfagrutquag, it will make you grow a tail.

Latjabcuss Venrilfagrutquag's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Latjabcuss Venrilfagrutquag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair yellow.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Latjabcuss Venrilfagrutquag must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never hurt grasshopers.