Vollargsom is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, ruthless duck.

Vollargsom created an up quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vollargsom, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vollargsom, it will turn you into a snail.

Vollargsom's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Vollargsom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not speak about turnips.

5. Always stare at clouds.