Gadpomwot is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, competent bee.

Gadpomwot created a strange quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gadpomwot, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gadpomwot, she will turn you into a dog.

Gadpomwot's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Gadpomwot's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never eat pineapples.

3. Hide from purple snakes for they are unholy.

4. You must love Gadpomwot.

5. Do not wear brown clothing.