Queeggatcar is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, capable mongoose.

Queeggatcar created carbon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Queeggatcar, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Queeggatcar, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Queeggatcar's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Queeggatcar's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Queeggatcar.

5. Never eat bark.