Podfigfatzanyarvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, omniscient chicken.

Podfigfatzanyarvonk created viruses two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Podfigfatzanyarvonk, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Podfigfatzanyarvonk, she will destroy your home planet.

Podfigfatzanyarvonk's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Podfigfatzanyarvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.

2. Always look after injured dolphins.

3. Never talk about shrews.

4. Do not take Podfigfatzanyarvonk's name in vain.

5. Do not dye your hair pink.