Higbadvid is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, awesome alligator.

Higbadvid created the planet Mars six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Higbadvid, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Higbadvid, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Higbadvid's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Higbadvid's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Higbadvid.

3. Do not wear copper on your body.

4. Always wear pink.

5. Snakes are not to be trusted.