Yarpcutrap is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, overgenerous dingo.

Yarpcutrap created Europe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpcutrap, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yarpcutrap, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Yarpcutrap's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Yarpcutrap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Worship no other gods but Yarpcutrap.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.