Ontlaksan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, confident wombat.

Ontlaksan created the Milkyway seven million years ago.

If you believe in Ontlaksan, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Ontlaksan, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Ontlaksan's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Ontlaksan's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ontlaksan.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.