Nelbeplag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, capable owl.

Nelbeplag created a down quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nelbeplag, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nelbeplag, he will remove you from existence.

Nelbeplag's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Nelbeplag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Nelbeplag on top of all buildings.

3. Do not take Nelbeplag's name in vain.

4. Never feed spinach to tortoises while wearing red jumpers.

5. Do not wear silver on your body.