Zenlakpib is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, grumpy goose.

Zenlakpib created the Tadpole Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Zenlakpib, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Zenlakpib, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Zenlakpib's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Zenlakpib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Hide if five geese approach from the east.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.
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