Botnilton is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, competent owl.

Botnilton created snails four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Botnilton, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Botnilton, it will destroy your home planet.

Botnilton's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Botnilton's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed coconuts to hamsters while wearing orange rings.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never wear yellow skirts.

5. Do not hurt whales.