Xembancud is a god.

She takes the form of a small, all-powerful hare.

Xembancud created a bottom quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xembancud, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Xembancud, she will turn you into a dog.

Xembancud's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Xembancud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Always help cats.

3. Always obey Xembancud's priests.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Do not take Xembancud's name in vain.