Bigwadlan is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, moody walrus.

Bigwadlan created everything that exists seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bigwadlan, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bigwadlan, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Bigwadlan's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Bigwadlan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Erect six zinc sculptures of Bigwadlan on top of important buildings.

5. Fast once a month.