Jigtanpon is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, thoughtless fly.

Jigtanpon created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jigtanpon, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Jigtanpon, it will boil you in a big pot.

Jigtanpon's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Jigtanpon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear cyan clothing.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.