Yarpsatgemvil is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, dishonest lion.

Yarpsatgemvil created the Andromeda Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Yarpsatgemvil, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yarpsatgemvil, it will turn you into a hamster.

Yarpsatgemvil's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Yarpsatgemvil's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never feed cherries to horses while wearing mauve rings.

5. Never paint your chest magenta.