Midspagpog is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, unjust monkey.

Midspagpog created the planet Venus nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Midspagpog, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Midspagpog, he will turn you into a sheep.

Midspagpog's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Midspagpog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Put Midspagpog first in all things.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Hide from pink seals for they are unholy.