Padwatmot is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, idiotic hyena.

Padwatmot created parasitic wasps nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Padwatmot, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Padwatmot, he will turn you into a mouse.

Padwatmot's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Padwatmot's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Put Padwatmot first in all things.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not shave your chest.