Mumvolgid Car is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, emotional cow.

Mumvolgid Car created dark energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Mumvolgid Car, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Mumvolgid Car, he will manifest in front of you.

Mumvolgid Car's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Mumvolgid Car's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

4. Never eat spinach.

5. Never go into black rooms.