Sigbastkim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, boastful spider.

Sigbastkim created dark energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Sigbastkim, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sigbastkim, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Sigbastkim's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Sigbastkim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. You must love Sigbastkim.

5. Do not bounce in public.