Loopmanvin is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, stupid wren.

Loopmanvin created the universe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Loopmanvin, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Loopmanvin, he will turn you into a mouse.

Loopmanvin's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Loopmanvin's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands blue.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Loopmanvin.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Erect seven gold sculptures of Loopmanvin on top of important buildings.

5. Do not wear tin on your body.