Pan is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, prudent squirrel.

Pan created vertebrates four billion years ago.

If you believe in Pan, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Pan, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Pan's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Pan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always help hamsters.

5. Never feed corn to great tits while wearing violet shirts.