Fomdadbad Muttamfon is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, unfair deer.

Fomdadbad Muttamfon created the planet Saturn two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fomdadbad Muttamfon, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fomdadbad Muttamfon, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Fomdadbad Muttamfon's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Fomdadbad Muttamfon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about oranges.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Never think ill of sick great tits.

4. Hide from black bats for they are unholy.

5. Pray towards the west.