Ratjentad is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, witless cow.

Ratjentad created oxygen five million years ago.

If you believe in Ratjentad, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ratjentad, she will turn you into a dog.

Ratjentad's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Ratjentad's Holy Commandments

1. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always wear yellow.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Do not eat nuts.