Lunfotpid Zimveenkimfun is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unthinking cobra.

Lunfotpid Zimveenkimfun created matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lunfotpid Zimveenkimfun, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lunfotpid Zimveenkimfun, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Lunfotpid Zimveenkimfun's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Lunfotpid Zimveenkimfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Put Lunfotpid Zimveenkimfun first in all things.

3. Always help sick turtles.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. You must love Lunfotpid Zimveenkimfun.