Butwegjarncen is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, charitable jaguar.

Butwegjarncen created an atom nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Butwegjarncen, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Butwegjarncen, it will come to you in dreams.

Butwegjarncen's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Butwegjarncen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear fawn clothing.

2. Never talk about nebulae.

3. Erect nine platinum sculptures of Butwegjarncen on top of important buildings.

4. Do not wear tin on your body.

5. Butwegjarncen loves manatees, so they must be respected.