Gembonrip is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, selfish goose.

Gembonrip created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gembonrip, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gembonrip, she will turn you into a mole.

Gembonrip's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Gembonrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never skip near horses.

3. Do not eat parsnips.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Never pour water over plants.