Latgedjapbogkad Tenbumjen is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, stupid elephant.

Latgedjapbogkad Tenbumjen created a photon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Latgedjapbogkad Tenbumjen, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Latgedjapbogkad Tenbumjen, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Latgedjapbogkad Tenbumjen's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Latgedjapbogkad Tenbumjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear hats.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not dye your hair blue.

5. Do not hurt eagles.