Jadfebwan is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, fast elephant.

Jadfebwan created a quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Jadfebwan, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Jadfebwan, he will turn you into a puffin.

Jadfebwan's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Jadfebwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms brown.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Run away if seven badgers approach from the east.

4. Put Jadfebwan first in all things.

5. Always look after injured shrews.