Farnpitnab is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, tranquil rhinoceros.

Farnpitnab created dark energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Farnpitnab, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Farnpitnab, he will be very sad.

Farnpitnab's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Farnpitnab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

2. Hide from red seals for they are unholy.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.