Genquagfat Dobcumpad is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, uncaring squirrel.

Genquagfat Dobcumpad created a quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Genquagfat Dobcumpad, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Genquagfat Dobcumpad, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Genquagfat Dobcumpad's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Genquagfat Dobcumpad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Whales are not to be trusted.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never sit in the presence of mice.

5. Do not commit murder.