Sabjanwan is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, ill-tempered jellyfish.

Sabjanwan created snails two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sabjanwan, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sabjanwan, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Sabjanwan's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Sabjanwan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill otters.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never think ill of sick swans.