Bepzagbig is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, cheerful tapir.

Bepzagbig created a top quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bepzagbig, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bepzagbig, it will make you grow a tail.

Bepzagbig's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Bepzagbig's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six shrews approach from the north.

2. Always help sheep in need.

3. Do not wear red clothing.

4. Retreat if three gulls approach from the south.

5. Never go into brown rooms.