Gemdanbeg is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, merciful ferret.

Gemdanbeg created the planet Mars six million years ago.

If you believe in Gemdanbeg, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gemdanbeg, she will turn you into a slug.

Gemdanbeg's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Gemdanbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Erect five iron sculptures of Gemdanbeg on top of important buildings.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

5. Never talk about stars.