Fem is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, loving parrot.

Fem created viruses two billion years ago.

If you believe in Fem, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fem, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Fem's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Fem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Run away if five rats approach from the west.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never talk about amino acids.