Yarlgonbanpid is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, merciless penguin.

Yarlgonbanpid created the Sunflower Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlgonbanpid, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yarlgonbanpid, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Yarlgonbanpid's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Yarlgonbanpid's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never go into indigo rooms.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not bounce in public.