Cancemgunlan is a god.

She takes the form of a large, bad-tempered slug.

Cancemgunlan created humanity nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cancemgunlan, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cancemgunlan, she will destroy your favourite star.

Cancemgunlan's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Cancemgunlan's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention gulls.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

3. Erect three carbon sculptures of Cancemgunlan on top of important buildings.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.