Liptunrutt is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, boastful frog.

Liptunrutt created tapeworms three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Liptunrutt, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Liptunrutt, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Liptunrutt's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Liptunrutt's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Liptunrutt six times a day.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Liptunrutt must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.