Tadrullnurl is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, omnipotent hydra.

Tadrullnurl created bats four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tadrullnurl, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tadrullnurl, she will be very sad.

Tadrullnurl's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Tadrullnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Hide from turquoise aardvarks for they are unholy.

3. Do not eat strawberries.

4. Never think ill of sick shrews.

5. Always help moths in need.