Rotjarnnatyampibcin is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, selfish toad.

Rotjarnnatyampibcin created the Sun six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rotjarnnatyampibcin, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rotjarnnatyampibcin, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Rotjarnnatyampibcin's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Rotjarnnatyampibcin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never paint your head white.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.