Montimbass Loplittaf Sagjapjam is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, caring fish.

Montimbass Loplittaf Sagjapjam created the cosmos seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Montimbass Loplittaf Sagjapjam, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Montimbass Loplittaf Sagjapjam, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Montimbass Loplittaf Sagjapjam's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Montimbass Loplittaf Sagjapjam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Erect eight titanium sculptures of Montimbass Loplittaf Sagjapjam on top of important buildings.

4. Do not wear fawn clothing.

5. Never go into blue rooms.