Dabquatfoss is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, witless armadillo.

Dabquatfoss created the planet Jupiter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dabquatfoss, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dabquatfoss, she will have a low opinion of you.

Dabquatfoss' most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Dabquatfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Hide from green frogs for they are unholy.