Volkonbognan is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, unselfish wolf.

Volkonbognan created the Whirlpool Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Volkonbognan, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Volkonbognan, it will turn you into a dog.

Volkonbognan's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Volkonbognan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick grasshopers.

2. Always help frogs in need.

3. Never feed cucumbers to great tits while wearing brown dresses.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Do not shave your legs.