Cingatced is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, unfair squirrel.

Cingatced created the Sun five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cingatced, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cingatced, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Cingatced's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Cingatced's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not speak about onions.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.