Fodtitxem Armbodtetti is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, compassionate gorilla.

Fodtitxem Armbodtetti created a Higgs boson three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fodtitxem Armbodtetti, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fodtitxem Armbodtetti, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Fodtitxem Armbodtetti's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Fodtitxem Armbodtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never wear stockings.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fodtitxem Armbodtetti.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.