Bonkonnel is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, charitable wombat.

Bonkonnel created the Sol system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bonkonnel, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bonkonnel, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bonkonnel's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Bonkonnel's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never go into violet rooms.