Xemflam Dussrulyam is a god.

She takes the form of a small, merciless ant.

Xemflam Dussrulyam created vertebrates five billion years ago.

If you believe in Xemflam Dussrulyam, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Xemflam Dussrulyam, she will not care.

Xemflam Dussrulyam's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Xemflam Dussrulyam's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Run away from purple mice, for they are unholy.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Fast once a month.