Yatmilteen is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, egotistical badger.

Yatmilteen created the Sombrero Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yatmilteen, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yatmilteen, she will turn you into a slug.

Yatmilteen's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Yatmilteen's Holy Commandments

1. Put Yatmilteen first in all things.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Yatmilteen.

3. Do not wear cyan clothing.

4. Tapirs are not to be trusted.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.